By now, you’ve seen the trailers for the Boston-based dark comedy, “The Drama,” where a secret revealed by its main character, Emma (Zendaya), shakes her boyfriend, Charlie (Robert Pattinson), to the point of threatening the marriage. A24’s marketing team is working overtime to protect you from learning what it is. They told us critics not to spoil the “surprise”. I would expect that 90 percent of the opening weekend office will come from people who are interested in knowing what it is.
As shown in the trailer, Emma and Charlie play a drunken game with their best man, Mike (Mamoudou Athie), and maid of honor (and Mike’s wife) Rachel (Alana Haim). The topic is “what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” The other three characters spew vile things that border on criminal or just plain evil. Emma’s bombshell is so bad that Rachel yells, “Are you crying so hard?”
The fact that Emma’s revelation happens in the first 20 minutes should give you pause as to why the studio is playing coy; this isn’t an M. Night Shyamalan-inspired ending to a movie adaptation, or a Benoit Blanc telling you whodunit. The reason A24 doesn’t want you to know what Emma did is because there’s a good chance you won’t want to watch “The Drama” at all if you do. Especially if this aspect of the plot inspires you.
To add insult to injury, the consequences of Emma’s actions are handled so pathetically, and so carelessly, that you wonder what the hell the studio was thinking when they based their entire campaign on these disgusting, tasteless branches. I guess there is no such thing as bad publicity.
Every movie that relies on a secret plot is a waste of your time. My hands are tied because, while I don’t have to follow any studio’s request in my reviews, I somehow find myself doing so because you’re trained to be spoiler-averse. Because of that, I can’t fully explain why I found “The Drama” so critical that I can’t even collect a star for my grades. Half-a-star is usually low on my rating system. In my 20 years as a professional film critic, I have given only seven films zero stars.
I reserve the star name for movies that I think have no redeeming value or are morally repulsive. “Drama” meets both of these criteria. It’s the latter because of the fun, humorous way it deals with a sad subject. It’s the first because an interesting movie could have been made out of this script, but writer-director Kristoffer Borgli chose to throw bombs and run away laughing instead of dealing with the carnage he committed.
Borgli’s last film, “Dream Scenario” collapsed in its third act when it suddenly became an angry outcry against a culture that was silent in its anger. The film was saved by the performance of Nicolas Cage, which was good enough to recommend the horror-comedy despite the fact that it was completely ruined.
No such luck here, though Pattinson does his best to convey his character’s emotional turmoil. The problem is that Borgli doesn’t give enough time to Emma’s inner struggle. He becomes a scared pawn running around trying to keep his secret from being revealed. His main idea is to ask everyone to sweep it under the rug. She is not even given enough of a way to understand why the other characters call her a psychopath, or why her husband is suddenly afraid of her. Borgli even has a scene (in the trailer) where Emma argues with Charlie while holding a giant butcher knife. Zendaya doesn’t play a character; he is playing a gimmick.
Meanwhile, we are shown flashbacks of young Emma prepping for something I shouldn’t say. Borgli knows how challenging these images are, and even more troubling when a young Black person is portrayed in this context, but these games are played for comedy purposes. “The Drama” also tries to fake a joke about Charlie attacking a woman in a wheelchair.
Everything leads to a marriage that was never supposed to happen. No one in their right mind would go ahead with it. I’m too cynical to write a “Love Letters” column here at the Globe, but I also know that these people could have put the kibosh on marriages and received much-needed therapy. Part of the film’s humor comes from Emma and Charlie pretending to be weirdos while dealing with an overjoyed photographer and DJ whose free time involves smoking heroin on Arlington Street (don’t ask). But it’s impossible to laugh when you can’t buy the first base.
The great Hailey Benton Gates (“Moment”) appears as a deus ex machina named Misha, who works with Charlie at the internet agency. (fictional) Cambridge Art Museum. His role is foreign, but he brings some understanding to the issues. Haim is also excellent at playing the angry voice of reason who rejects Emma, even though the screen forces Rachel to finally fall in line.
I’m beginning to wonder if today’s filmmakers understand humor. Outside of Jordan Peele, the situation is so bad that Paddy Chayefsky would be rolling in his grave. Movies like “The Drama” and “After the Hunt” think that the way to satirize current events is to provoke the audience and then point and laugh in response instead of debating that point of view.
And like “After the Hunt,” the film ends on a note that left me questioning why the filmmakers chose to challenge it in the first place. Emma’s secret could have been anything from adultery to having a secret love child to polygamy, and “The Drama” would play out exactly the same. Ask yourself why the filmmakers chose the mystery they did.
ZERO STARS
THE DRAMA
Written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli. Starring Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Alana Haim, Mamoudou Athie, Hailey Benton Gates. At AMC Boston Common, Coolidge Corner, Alamo Drafthouse Seaport, AMC Causeway, downtown. 106 minutes. R (sex, profanity, gun violence)
Odie Henderson is a film critic for the Boston Globe.
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